The Children’s Secret Mission

The children are actually secret agents. They have been given a special mission by the universe, one that only they are truly capable of fulfilling. Why is it that one moment they can drive us up the wall, and the next moment they make us see them as a gift in our lives?

Their special ability

Children live in the present. They don’t dwell on things that have already happened, and they’re certainly not interested in the future. They want everything right now: treats, playtime, our attention. They want to stay a while longer, to carry on with whatever they’re doing, so that you can watch, see and join in too. If we don’t let them, they get upset, but usually within a few minutes they’re laughing again. It’s no coincidence that they switch so effortlessly from a loud tantrum to a light-hearted giggle, or vice versa. They aren’t attached to or clinging to these feelings; they move on to the next moment, the next „NOW”.
How easily do we – as adults – shake off our bad moods?

Zombie mode

Not at all, really. We regard letting go of a bad mood as childish, immature behaviour. We cling to the past, dragging it behind us like a heavy iron chain. We hope that by keeping our past in mind, we can achieve what we truly desire in the future.

We – as adults – no longer really live in the present. Whenever we encounter a situation in the here and now, our thoughts turn either to the past or to the future. It is mainly pain and regret that draw us back to the past. As for the future, we want to control it. We want to calculate as precisely as possible what, when and how we need to act so that our plans work out, and so that we can finally be content and happy in the future. We don’t even realise that, in the meantime, we’re missing out on everything. We just rush about blindly, like zombies. All the time. Yet, if we think about it more carefully, we know that everything that matters is happening right now.

Children know! It’s no coincidence that they’re the ones who can provoke us the most (whether positively or negatively). That’s why the mission belongs to them. They try to wave their flags high, warning us, „LOOK AT THIS, EVERYTHING YOU NEED IS RIGHT HERE!”

Our responsibility

„But what if…?”, „We need to think about the future!”, „We can’t just live from hand to mouth – we have a huge responsibility!”

That’s right! We need to think about the future, but we don’t have to live there! Yes, we have a responsibility towards our children, which is precisely why we need to be aware of the message we’re sending them through this world view. That’s responsibility enough!
If we are constantly worrying about the past repeating itself and working to secure the future, whilst completely neglecting the present, our child will learn the following (among other things):

• My existence is far too little to bring me happiness.
• Happiness is something to be achieved in the future. It depends on how much effort I put into it.
• My parents and other people don’t have time to listen to me, see me or understand me.
• My parents are so stressed because they want what’s best for me. I’m the reason they’re stressed; I’m not good enough.
• I can’t be who I am, because it’s clear that’s not welcome. I’d better change!
• I am what I do, and who others see me as.

Yes, that’s how we ended up like this too. We saw what we saw from our parents. We couldn’t fulfil our mission; we fell short. We blended in and became just as much like zombies as they were. But our children still have a chance!

Learn from the master

There is no other living creature quite like this, capable of seeing so many wonders in nature’s smallest details. A child can spend minutes marvelling at a withered leaf, chase dust bunnies for hours, repeat a joke all afternoon, and laugh at it over and over again. They know that true miracles happen in the present moment. To notice them, we have to be here with them. We can teach our children many things, but no one can teach us better than they can to ENJOY WHAT WE HAVE, WHEN WE HAVE IT. And more than anything, they want to experience these wonders with us.

What worries from the past are you carrying with you? What vision of the future are you trying to hold on to?

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